Dark humour

I've been struggling to keep it together recently.  The following has little to do with anything on this blog except humans sometimes find comfort in black humour to which they can relate. For me it works where religion does not.  The following cheered me up no end.  Still chuckling about it.  I have a terrible memory.  One of the few upsides is that I refind jokes I had forgotten and they make me smile all over again:

"Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear."

I've been there, and I've met all these people....