Friday February 18th 2011.
Forget all that has gone before. I am done with romantic love for the foreseeable future. It is clear to me that the people to whom I am attracted, and with whom I fall in love, are destined to fall in and then out of love with me. I am told I 'choose' the wrong women - Women who are incredibly strong willed and volatile, and who have a very strong independent streak. Women who perhaps need a stronger willed man, who is their equal in terms of dominance. Women who simply grow out of loving me. Maybe I think too much of the consequences for every potential action I take. These women are invariably above average intelligence but only averagely well educated, whereas I am very well educated but of average intelligence. Maybe this mismatch cannot work? I have known a lot of women, but only three have I really loved, and it was these three who in turn left me whilst I was still head over heels in love with them - still am with one of them..
Anyway, a period of limiting myself to friendships and nothing more is the way forward for as long as it takes to get over my cumulative hurt.